Day 6 of 21

I have admittedly been slacking over the last 2 days ....so let's pick up where I left off, Day 6

Taken from "Practicing the Presence of God" by Kim West

"Where are you limiting God?" - I feel like my situation sometimes feels helpless, my feelings taken over with anxiety, when the reality is God can do anything. He parted the Red Sea, he can move mountains, he can raise the dead, heal the sick, and the list goes on and on. I don't know why I doubt God so much at times, but I know I want to get to a place where I have complete trust and faith in Him. I need to remember the miracles of the past, especially the ones He's done in my life.

"What cost keeps you from making the decision to live before God?" - Not really sure how to answer this, so I won't for now.

"Come before God and ask Him to reveal anything that you fear losing if you were to live in His 
presence?" - I fear losing everything, especially loved ones. I have this fear of God using me as an example to teach a lesson and to bring Glory to God. That sounds convoluted, and it is. I'm basically questioning God doing things for my good.
Bottom line is that He loves me, since I am His child. I need to remember He is my Father, even more loving than my earthly father, and that His love is unconditional for me.  He has complete and utter control of my life

What prison do you have that doesn’t hold the peace Gordon experiences? This for sure is anxiety and worry for me. I am constantly worried about everything. I need and plead with God to remove these anxieties and to live in the freedom of knowing that God has everything in His control.

Day 5 of 21

Taken from "Practicing the Presence of God"

What does it feel like for you to be in God's presence? What is changing in your day? Write out when you knew when God was with you through your day?

There is an overwhelming calm and peace when I am in the Lord's presence. 

Now write out how you day was different because of His presence?

 When I feel anxious, i take a deep breath and remind myself that God is with me and will never leave me. During some disturbing news I saw on the media today, I am reminded that God is in full control. I am also feeling under the weather, and I keep reminding myself I have the ultimate Healer and Protector onmy side. 

Quotable Quotes

Here's an excerpt from one of my devotionals today . . . really hits home.

What a need there is to counsel our hearts according to the truths of God's Word, "to teach them diligently" to our children (Deut 6:7) and to "write them" into our lives (Heb 8:10).  Both we and the generations coming behind us must endure a world that is often dark and distressing. We are confronted by challenges that seem to leave no other option than worry and panic. But His word is our sanity.  It is what keeps us from losing our equilibrium when all around us appears to be spinning out of control.  It tethers us to truth, mentally and emotionally, protecting our minds, and reorienting our perspectives.

Store up God's Word in your heart.  Memorize it; meditate on it; allow the Spirit of God to personalize it to your life.  And be continually renewed as God uses it to transform you into the likeness of Christ.

Taken from "The Quiet Place: Daily Devotional Reading"

Day 4 of 21

Taken From Practicing the Presence of God by Kim West ......

"Do you find that there are times that are harder than others to remember that He is present? My 

suggestion is that you come up with a way that works specifically for you.

For example, I have taught myself that when I feel stressed or upset I will consider that the red 

light on my dashboard which means time to stop. So, I pull over, so to speak, and then I close 

my eyes for just a few seconds, take a breath and simply say, “You are here, Lord.” It is a way 

to re-center myself on Him and put my circumstances back into perspective.

How about you? Is there something that you are learning to do to remind yourself of His 

presence? Are you finding yourself with Him in the good and bad, in the stress and the peace?"

At what times do you really need to remember His presence?

      -  When my thoughts get ahead of me, and I start worrying about the future and things I have no control over. 

Write out how you remind yourself that you are in the presence of God. If you haven’t come up 

with a method yet then it is time to do so.

      - I will look at my bracelet, take a deep breath, and remember the Lord is with me. I will also  recite Psalms 23, which has always brought me comfort.

2 Corinthians 4:7-10 

But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, so that the surpassing greatness of the power will 

be of God and not from ourselves; we are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but 

not despairing; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying 

about in the body the dying of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our body.

Day 3 of 21

Well.....my night last night didn't go as well as the night before. Sleep was elusive.....but again I praise God for giving me 3 hours of rest towards the end.

Day 3

From " Practicing the Presence of God" by Kim West

Read David's description of always being in God's presence in Psalm 139 1-12

"As we read David’s life story we see that he lived with adversity, power, sin, betrayal, war, faith, marriage, fatherhood and always with the presence of God. He knew that he was never apart from his Lord. God would never forsake him.

"God is always present with you because He loves you and delights to be with you. Do you
believe that?" I can't say that I honestly do at all times, especially that he delights in me, especially while going thru trials.

"Come into His presence and allow Him to remove any blocks to believing that you are loved by
God. Sit quietly with Him and allow Him to speak to any lie that says that Psalm 139 is untrue 
for you. 
      -  Going thru trials, sometimes you feel so alone, and it's hard to feel God's presence.
      -  Sometimes, while going through trials, it's hard to believe God is doing this for my good and He will never forsake me.

Now, spend time in His love and write what He has shown you. Read through Psalm 139 again 
today."

     - He has shown me that despite my circumstances, He is always there.
     - There is nowhere I can go that can be too far away from God.
     - Any earthly darkness, is never too dark for the Lord, He can be the light no matter how bad things get.

Day 2 of 21

I slept! Praise God!
Sleep has been one of my biggest struggles since all of this started, so I rejoice in God for giving me a restful night sleep.
On the other hand, I am also human, so of course, my negative thinking rears it's head and says ....."how long is this going to last?" But I digress, that's exactly the kind of thinking I need to stop. I'm trying to live moment to moment and at this moment I THANK GOD for 9 hours of sleep!

So Day 2 points ....

- Becoming aware of God and His presence with us will help us to realize that He is not
passively watching but actively involved in our lives even when we don’t know it.

-He showed Elisha and his servant that He was Sovereign over all that was happening. Nothing
was out of His control. (Read Elisha's story 2 Kings 6:15)

- Awareness of God’s presence gave Elisha the peace he needed in circumstances that looked so
daunting. Maybe we can find the same peace in Him as we wake to our world today. (I need to let this point really sink in.)

Questions for today to think about ......

In what circumstance do you need to be aware of God’s presence?
Allow yourself to know God’s presence there in all that He is. How does the circumstance change?

21 days

It has been an interesting 3 weeks in my life. I should just start with that.
I was going through life on my merry way when God allowed some changes to occur in an instant. Absolutely terrifying at first, but now, just sort of living with it.
Without going into details, the last time it happened, it lasted 2 weeks, and it was done. When I look back at that time, I thanked God for allowing this trial to come into my life, because I was closer to HIM more than I ever was in the past.
When out of the blue it happened this time, 6 years later, and the 2 weeks have come and gone, it feels more than disheartening that I am still in the midst of this trial.

This blog has in the past served as a reminder of God's miracles in my life. When this trial does pass, and it SHALL, I want to look back and never forget how God delivered me .....because as it says in Philippians 4:4-7

 Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! 5 Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. 6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

So I am starting a 21 day challenge of sorts. I am starting a workbook called "Practicing the Presence of God. A 21 day journey of mind an heart." by Kim West. I hope to chronicle this journey on here to keep me accountable, and that it may be undeniably evident that we serve a living and ever-present God! So here goes!

DAY 1 - How will I come up with a way to know and remind myself that God is with me? I plan on wearing a ring or bracelet on my right hand and it will serve as a reminder that God is there. The goal of today is to bring myself awareness of his presence as many times throughout the day as possible. 

Food for Thought

In my devotional for today....

"A commitment to holiness calls us to have a life, by the grace of God, that can stand up to unannounced scrutiny-whether by God or by others.  What do your downtimes look like, those moments when the public persona is turned off, the doors are closed, and no one (humanly speaking) is watching?"

--"The Quiet Place"

I need to laugh...and based on how I'm feeling, this couldn't have said it better! =)

Reminders...

Currently doing a Beth Moore Bible study on Esther and a few things she's said has struck me doing this week's homework:

"Some crises are too important for saving face.  Saving lives is worth losing face every time.  When was the last time you had to risk losing face to try to save something more precious than pride."

"Of all the rights bestowed on us as the children of God, perhaps none exceeds the right to repent and turn back to the Lord."

"In daily living, strength comes from muscle, and muscle develops with a workout.  This is as true spiritually as physically.  What we don't use, we lose."

"We are not the fragile flowers we've considered ourselves to be.  We, like Esther, are the warrior princesses of God."

"Sometimes we fear that fighting for what is right will kill us.  Then again, it occurs to us that to stand by and do nothing out of self-preservation is to be dead already."

"God has profoundly used the conviction that those heightened times of decision in my toughest trials could be 'make it or break it' moments in my destiny....in the times of greatest struggle when you make the Godward decision over convenience, earthly comfort, or carnal pleasure, you too have come to a critical moment in the fulfillment of your destiny.  A defining moment.  A war is being waged over your head in the unseen realm.  You have no idea what's at stake."

"Sometimes our most important moments come hand-in-hand with our willingness to reveal that we aren't really who we've seemed to be." 

Looking for Hope . . .

A prayer by Max Lucado in response to the Conn. school shooting:

Dear Jesus, 

It's a good thing you were born at night. This world sure seems dark. I have a good eye for silver linings. But they seem dimmer lately.These killings, Lord. These children, Lord. Innocence violated. Raw evil demonstrated.The whole world seems on edge. Trigger-happy. Ticked off. We hear threats of chemical weapons and nuclear bombs. Are we one button-push away from annihilation?Your world seems a bit darker this Christmas. But you were born in the dark, right? You came at night. The shepherds were nightshift workers. The Wise Men followed a star. Your first cries were heard in the shadows. To see your face, Mary and Joseph needed a candle flame. It was dark. Dark with Herod's jealousy. Dark with Roman oppression. Dark with poverty. Dark with violence.Herod went on a rampage, killing babies. Joseph took you and your mom into Egypt. You were an immigrant before you were a Nazarene.
Oh, Lord Jesus, you entered the dark world of your day. Won't you enter ours? We are weary of bloodshed. We, like the wise men, are looking for a star. We, like the shepherds, are kneeling at a manger.  This Christmas, we ask you, heal us, help us, be born anew in us.

Hopefully,Your Children

Reminders cont....

Mathew 6:27
And which of you by being anxious, can add a single hour to his span of life.

Proverbs 12:25
Anxiety in a man's heart weighs him down, but a good word makes him glad.

Mathew 6:25
Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on.  Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing?

I Corinthians 7:32-34
I want you to be free from anxieties.  The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord.  But the married man is anxious about wordly things, how to please his wife, and his interests are divided. And the unamarried or betrothed woman, is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit.  But the married woman is anxious about wordly things, how to please her husband.

Reminders/Comfort

1 Peter 5:6-7
Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.

Psalm 37:3
Trust in the Lord, and do good; dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness.

Galatians 2:20
I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.

Philippians 4:6-7
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.  And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Mathew 11:28
Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. 

We are all a little weird . . .

"We are all a little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love."
                                                                           -Dr. Seuss

Super Mom

It has been months since I last posted, and soooo much has happened in a short amount of time.  Life has been awesome, exciting, lovely, and unpredictable.....all because of a certain man that God has finally brought into my life!  For the first time in a long time, I'm excited for the future. =)

But the reason I'm posting today is because we just passed Mother's Day, and as much as I'm thinking about my mom and how much she's done for me, I'm thinking about what kind of mother I hope to be.  Since my life is finally headed in that direction (yay!), I've been praying, begging really, for the grace and discipline to be a godly mother to my future kids.  That pressure I put on myself, although high, is lessened by the fact that no matter what my parenting "techniques" are, my utmost duty is to pray for my children that God intervenes in their life at an early age.

All that being said, I came across an article where a mom wrote a wish list for her kids.  I really like the list, and think it will serve as a good reminder in the years to come.

"Here’s my wish list.

I hope I raise a child who says “thank you” to the bus driver when he gets off the bus, “please” to the waiter taking his order at the restaurant, and holds the elevator doors when someone’s rushing to get in.

I hope I raise a child who loses graciously and wins without bragging. I hope he learns that disappointments are fleeting and so are triumphs, and if he comes home at night to people who love him, neither one matter.
Nobody is keeping score, except sometimes on Facebook.

I hope I raise a child who is kind to old people.

I hope I raise a child who realizes that life is unfair: Some people are born rich or gorgeous. Some people really are handed things that they don’t deserve. Some people luck into jobs or wealth that they don’t earn. Tough.

I hope I raise a child who gets what he wants just often enough to keep him optimistic but not enough to make him spoiled.

I hope I raise a child who knows that he’s loved and special but that he’s not the center of the universe and never, ever will be.

I hope I raise a child who will stick up for a kid who’s being bullied on the playground. I also hope I raise a child who, if he’s the one being bullied, fights back. Hard. Oh, and if he’s the bully? I hope he realizes that his mother, who once wore brown plastic glasses and read the phonebook on the school bus, will cause him more pain than a bully ever could.

I hope I raise a child who relishes life’s tiny pleasures—whether it’s a piece of music, or the color of a gorgeous flower, or Chinese takeout on a rainy Sunday night.

I hope I raise a child who is open-minded and curious about the world without being reckless.

I hope I raise a child who doesn’t need to affirm his self-worth through bigotry, snobbery, materialism, or violence.

I hope I raise a child who likes to read.

I hope I raise a child who is courageous when sick and grateful when healthy.

I hope I raise a child who begins and ends all relationships straightforwardly and honorably.

I hope I raise a child who can spot superficiality and artifice from a mile away and spends his time with people and things that feel authentic to him.

I hope I raise a child who makes quality friends and keeps them.

I hope I raise a child who realizes that his parents are flawed but loves them anyway.

And I hope that if my child turns out to be a colossal screw-up, I take it in stride. I hope I remember that he’s his own person, and there’s only so much I can do. He is not an appendage to be dangled from my breasts on the cover of a magazine, his success is not my ego’s accessory, and I am not Super Mom."

Taken from  "Am I Mom Enough? A Motherhood Wish List"  by Kara Baskin

How would you love someone without prayer?

"I woke up in the middle of the night recently with this rather odd question in mind:
How would you love someone without prayer?
I mean, what would it look like if you loved someone but couldn't pray for that person?
It was a puzzle to me.
I couldn't figure out what it would look like.
Love without being able to pray feels depressing and frustrating, like trying to tie a knot with gloves on.
I would be powerless to do the other person any real good.
People are far too complicated; the world is far too evil; and my own heart is too off center to be able to love adequately without praying.
I need Jesus."
 - A Praying Life by Paul E. Miller

Quotable Quotes

" If you are not praying, you are quietly confident that time, money, and talent, are all you need in life."

-A Praying Life, Paul E. Miller

I've Been Feeling Disconnected . . .

. . . and reading this gives me peace that I can never stray too far.

Do You Feel Spiritually Dull?

John Bunyan:

Sometimes when my heart has been hard, dead, slothful, blind, and senseless, which indeed are sad frames for a poor Christian to be in, yet at such a time, when I have been in such a case, then has the blood of Christ, the precious blood of Christ, the admirable blood of the God of Heaven, that run out of His body when it did hang on the Cross, so softened, livened, quickened, and enlightened my soul, that truly, reader, I can say, O it makes me wonder!

The Doctrine of the Law and Grace Unfolded (London, 1708), 183.; Taken from the Desiring God blog

Praying a very selfish prayer tonight: asking for passion, growth, repentance, and wisdom.

Quotable Quotes

"Because sin entered the world, there is emotional distress and disappointment with other people and with ourselves too.

We set expectations for what our lives should look like and then stress out when we aren’t as successful as we think we should be, or our bodies don’t look as good as we want them to, or we still struggle with bad habits or addictions that we know we should have overcome by now.

Now that doesn’t mean we should stop striving for Christlikeness; it just means we need to adjust our expectations.

This world we live in is not heaven.

It is not perfect, and it never will be.

We are not perfect, and we never will be while we’re alive on this earth.

So give yourself and everyone around you a break, and remember to thank God for his grace in this broken world."

         - Rick Warren in "The Daily Hope: The Emotional Costs of Sin"

Something Beautiful

Driving back tonight, lost in thought and half listening to the radio, I had one of those tugging of the heart moments when this chorus and song started filling my car's airwaves . . .

Hey now, this is my desire

Consume me like a fire, 'cause I just want SOMETHING BEAUTIFUL

To touch me, I know that I'm in reach

'Cause I am down on my knees, I'm waiting for...

SOMETHING BEAUTIFUL